Good morning. Hello. How are you? #855
I didn't even write an intro today I just started ranting but it ends with some cute Jane stuff and a bit about Dewalt OPE.
I don’t think I’ll ever get over how divorced from everyday concerns the platforms of most politicians are. I mean yes I care about abortion rights and Ukraine and… I dunno I guess I sort of academically care about TikTok and I do not especially support the violent overthrow of the US government by crazed right wingers. I do care very much that we are all turning into plastic, that we all consume a credit card’s size of plastic every week, that the world is being taken over by plastic, that plastic is going to kill us all and that the United States is the chief obstacle to a global plastic treaty, even with Papa Biden as president. I care about that very much. No politician ever talks about it. We’re all just filling up with plastic and they’re just arguing about the stupidest shit.
I care very much that our glorious president promised he wouldn’t open up any new drilling on public lands and then went ahead and approved a giant new oil drilling plan in Alaska that will undo a giant chunk of our progress on reducing carbon emissions because who cares about Alaska and who cares about the planet, I guess.
Burning all that oil could release nearly 280 million metric tons of carbon emissions into the atmosphere. On an annual basis, that would translate into 9.2 million metric tons of carbon pollution, equal to adding nearly two million cars to the roads each year. The United States, the second biggest polluter on the planet after China, emits about 5.6 billion metric tons of carbon dioxide annually.
Fantastic.
Did he even extract any takebacks on the ridiculous fossil fuel subsidies in the US for this giveaway? Nah.
Also hello there is already a Willow in Alaska we only have half a million people can’t you think of another name?
I’m fifty years old and I’ve mustered up enthusiasm for these milquetoast democratic presidents my whole life because the alternative is always worse but can’t we just once have a president that… I know, I know. They’re only as good as their house and senate. Biden probably had to do some shitty ass compromise on the Willow project because he needed that jerkwad Manchin’s vote on something but come on. COME ON. It’s so exhausting.
While I am on the subject, I’m sorry but gas-powered OPE (Outdoor Power Equipment) is absolute bullshit and it ought to be banned. I am very into the idea of banning things these days. Ban all AI. Ban Tik Tok. Ban gas-powered mowers and leaf blowers. The technology is there. They’re loud as shit and they’re a disaster for the environment. And Biden please go use the War Production Act to force some American company to make a half decent electric wood chipper, mmkay? This is out of control. It is 2023 how do we not have a decent electric wood chipper. And why do landscapers feel compelled to use their loud-ass equipment right when I’m on a call. Every week. It’s maddening.
I remember one year when I was newly rich I stayed for like 14 days at the Austin Four Seasons in a posh suite during SXSW. And at like six AM they had some dude right outside my window with a gas powered leaf blower. I was already in a sorry state of hang over and irresponsibility but, man. Paying like that much money for a room and being woken up by a leaf blower. All of this is just to say I wonder if, like, luxury hotels have gotten the tip and switched to electric so as to disturb guests yet. Are we even to that point in this journey? Is that guy still waking people up every day at a four-star hotel?
N.B. I do not stay at four star hotels anymore, I have decisively concluded that they are not worth the money. Don’t @ me.
Anyway I am sucking it up and sticking with Dewalt for my OPE equipment. They kind of suck in this realm, but their 60 volt system has a battery series called flexvolt that is compatible with all their 20 volt tools so I don’t have to, like, embrace a new system in order to buy their outdoor equipment. I don’t need much, really. A bigger chainsaw and blower, they have those, and a multi-tool, which they have, and I got the brush cutting attachment for it so I can clear out the saplings over Janet’s septic sustem. Can’t have trees growing on a leach field. BTW does anyone know if you can have wheat or corn grow on a septic system? Seems like yes, right? I might try that. This leaves a gap in the snow removal realm, Dewalt doesn’t make power brooms or blowers, but who are we kidding the earth is cooking it hasn’t snowed here in years.
Did you know that Si in Spanish means “yes” and “if”? Why did no one tell me about this? This is chaos. How am I expected to learn this language. I demand to speak to management. Also the way the masculin “un” is pronounced the same way as French’s feminin “Une” is utterly confusing. And “el” and “la” being the masculine and feminine of the same word? I cannot take this. I do like the way that DuoLingo teaches you a language. They just get right into useful shit and don’t spend forever teaching you about infinitive verbs — I still have zero idea about a single infinitive verb in Spanish after 30 lessons. I don’t even know the numbers that’s another great thing. I think they taught me uno, dos, tres and that’s it. Like I remember how to count ten in Spanish already before this, but DuoLingo hasn’t bothered because they know you can hold up fingers. Love it. I still wish they had expansion packs for restaurant speak, more foods, and landscape/construction lingo. I feel like I will never, ever be able to understand the rapid-fire Spanish of any single pop song, but i will at least, someday, be able to get to the airport or order some eggs.
Also there doesn’t seem to be a separate word for “snuggle” in Spanish so the word “abrazo” is doing a lot of double duty in this household. I feel like every language lesson should teach you the word for hug first. Maybe the world would be a better place.
Good Daddy Jane dance party last night. I feel bad cuz I’m moving away from all women and introducing some men. I am trying to stick to groups with at least one woman in them but sometimes I really just want to hear something and it is leading to all sorts of gaps like she doesn’t know too much about David Bowie which is sort of concerning. But then she asked for something new to her and I played “Under Pressure” and she was like “I already know this one daddy.” So that is reassuring. We did the Pale Saints which she did not think was dancable and she’s not wrong. Then we did “Bittersweet Symphony” which she liked and found dancable but thought Richard Ashcroft was being mean in the video. I explained to her that he was but that the video was a metaphor. She knows what metaphors are but she still did not buy this. Then we did Pop Will Eat Itself which she liked and then the KLF and Tammy Wynette which she loved so that was a small win. Then we wrapped up with the usual — the SNL version of Robyn’s “Dancing on My Own,” Taylor’s “You Need to Calm Down,” which she just loves, and then another track from Selena’s Astrodome concert which is her absolute favorite she loves Selena so much and this makes me very happy. Nick it was all you.
She’s been calling us back to the bed over and over lately after bedtime and it is making us both somewhat loony. So Emma negotiated a deal with her where we would stay a little longer at bedtime and read a book with her, and then we would leave and not come back. I got into bed with her (man I love the new big girl bed you can climb in and abrazo) and we read a really touching beautiful book about using your imagination to learn to fly and touching on the slave trade without it being terrifying to a five year old. Also beautifully illustrated. Great book. Anyway, she was in absolute denial about the deal, but I kept reminded her and was firm in saying I was not coming back tonight, that was the deal.
So the little lawyer found a loophole and called mommy up instead, and said she stuck to the deal. Gotta give her props for that. Do I want a lawyer in the family? I mean, sure, why not. It’s all in the field, amirite?
Post rock mix for you today. Did I just throw “Mogwai Fear Satan” onto the end of it to get it over the hour mark? Yes, yes I did. But it was 56 minutes already, it was so close. And all my playlists-in-progress are right around the 40 minute mark. I’m so close to having like fifteen done. And in any case, I bought the reissue of Mogwai Young Team on vinyl the other day cuz I’ve never owned it on vinyl because it’s way too expensive so I’m happy it got reissued. The rest are all new so that should count for something.
Sorry I will return tomorrow with a proper good morning GMMHAY intro.
on spanish not having a word for snuggling—au contraie, rick! (or, en contrario, i guess): you can use the verb "acurrucar" for this. like: "es hora de mimir, y jane y yo estamos acurrucados en la cama" (mimir is a cute baby word for dormir).
also "abrazo" is the word for the thing, but "abrazar" is the verb.
So with you on the plastic. it's so hard to avoid, and knowing that most of it doesn't even get recycled is fucking painful. i wish we'd get rid of it already.
i love a good rant sesh on GMHHAY. re: Duolingo, i’m totally obsessed and am probably more focused on keeping my streak than learning German, but the learning is happening. i rarely look at the guidebook for each unit, but when i’m not “getting” a grammar thing lesson over lesson, i’m like maybe it’s explained in the guidebook. and it usually is. so maybe i should review the guidebook before i start the new unit? i probably won’t.