Good morning. Hello. How are you? #850
Jerome and Janet, WTF TikTok just sell, Coinbase Wells notice dumbness, visiting Dr. Feelgood.
Good morning! Hello, there. How are you? All well? I’m okay. I had some weird-ass dreams, though. Very unpleasant stuff all around. Trapped in a hospital in one, an invalid in another, and literally attacked by an Air India 747 in a third. Like it came right for me on the ground. Turned away at the last minute but pulled me like 40 feet into the air and I came slamming down on a metal-roofed pole barn. Very unpleasant.
Anyway, many current events to discuss today so let’s jump right in, as the Youtubers say. Let’s get into it, as they say.
Jerome Powell. Well, I for one am not surprised that that dude raised interest rates. Jerome Powell is a 70 year-old ex investment banker. The likelihood that he was going to ever have anything but a boring-ass, ossified, orthodox-in-the-50’s view of economics and inflation was approaching zero. And he has exhibited an outright enthusiasm for hurting the economy. I did think there was a chance that now he was on the verge of hurting his banker friends instead of just you and me that he might cool it but nah. Beatings, morale, etc.
I will give him props for saying that people are feeling better about their bank accounts now that they know that the US Government will step in and protect their deposits. That was a really good thing to say we all needed to hear that. It probably would have been somewhat better were it not immediatley negated by the comments of Janet Yellen who, once again, went out there to insist that the government isn’t really into helping people, and she hasn’t even thought about, you know, protecting people’s deposits. Really classy thing to say really makes you look like you’re on top of things and care about people. Maybe you can’t backstop every deposit, I don’t know, maybe there’s some actual non-bureaucratic reason (fun fact: there isn’t), but you could at least say you looked into it, you’re trying you want to have that arrow in your quivver if you need it and you know and care that people are worried. But nope. You just said you weren’t even thinking about it. Wait lemme get the exact quote to be fair here. “This is not something we have looked at, it's not something we're considering.” COOL. Seriously how did you get so far in life without learning when you’re not going to do something that people want you say you really really want to but you just can’t because of some dumb reason that’s.
I really do admire her PhD thesis on advertising economics, though. It really is solid.
I’m deeply conflicted about this banning Tik Tok thing. On the one hand, Tik Tok should be banned. On the other, people don’t want it to be banned and boy are they going to be pissed when it gets banned. People are slavishly addicted to that thing. I wonder if it gets banned if, like a hundred years from now, people will talk about the Tik-Tok-was-banned era like we talk about prohibition.
On the one hand, Joe Biden is gonna get mauled politically if he bans Tik Tok. On the other hand, Trump wanted to ban Tik Tok too, and everyone in DC seems to hate Tik Tok except for Jeff Jackson and Jamaal Bowman, so maybe there’s some politicial cover there. And kids are always gonna vote for Democrats anyway, amirite? Except the TikTok CEO said yesterday the average American TikTok user is significantly over college age, which just cracks me the hell up. Of course it is. God. Fantastic.
Seriously, though, I will say that there is actual confusion over the potential of abuse of TikTok by the Chinese government. I’ve heard some people say that if it’s bad for the Chinese to get this data or that, the cell phone makers should make it impossible to get that data. Which is not very human consumer choice friendly but okay. And I’ve heard some people say Tik Tok’s not doing anything with data that everyone else isn’t doing. Which at this moment is mostly true though they have in the past been caught doing shady stuff. The thing about TikTok and China, though, is that TikTok is massive. Just so big. And the algorithm, and the data the algorithm generates, belongs to TikTok. A cell phone manufacturer can hardly keep an app developer from knowing what things in their own app that a user clicks or swipes on. There’s no keeping the vital data from TikTok because the vital data is their own clicks and swipes.
So the real danger, then, is China’s ability to manipulate an algorithm to show almost half of all Americans over the age of thirteen anything they want. That is not good! Imagine if Pravda were the largest television network in America! Not good! That is alarming! It is completely reasonable to be alarmed about that.
Also.. why not just sell? I mean fuck it. Just sell the thing. I mean sure the markets are kind of shitty right now, but you could work that out you could put the thing in escrow, sever the Chinese ties, but then let them choose exactly when to sell it, as the market improves. The mechanics are not difficult. It is weird to me they’re not just working this out, and it is also telling. It’s also telling that the CEO, who is not Chinese, is working so hard to keep their Chinese ownership. Why? Who cares if your shareholders and board members are suddenly American or European or Latinx or Japanese or Korean instead of Chinese. Why are you on Capital Hill lobbying about this? The US Government isn’t saying Tik Tok has to be shut down. They’re saying it has to be sold. So sell it! Oh twist my arm take this political hot potato off my hands, along with the tedious nightmare of going public, and give me a hundred billion dollars. Or just go public! Jesus. Talk about an IPO to thaw the market a bit. It is fishy fishy fishy that they don’t just sell it.
Coinbase got a Wells Notice and it is just so so dumb. Look crypto is kinda dumb, I get it. I find it interesting but also it’s dumb. Contain multitides, etc. etc. etc. But suddenly deciding that Coinbase is breaking the law, after quite legally IPOing while doing the exact same stuff, is stupid. The SEC is doing a land grab, it’s obvious. If they really thought they could get away with beating out the CFTC and claiming regulatory authority over all crypto, they would write some actual regulations instead of having Papa Gary go out there and give speeches and pretend the speeches are law and then literally go prosecute people because they’re not listening to the speeches. That is what’s happening here! Whatever you think of crypto this should be concerning.
No one in America seriously thinks that the Securities Act of 1933, as written in (checks notes) nineteen thirty three should govern how crypto works in America. That is stupid. Write a new law! Everyone agrees with this. Crypto die hards are cool with this. Anti-crypo crusaders are cool with this. Write some fuckin’ laws out and tell people to follow them. We’ve all watched Schoolhouse Rocks. That is the way things are supposed to work. If you think crypto should be governed as a security and not a commodity, then go write a law. The shit is plasma. It’s a caterpillar in a coccoon. Sometimes it’s a commodity, sometimes it’s a security, sometimes it’s a fuckin Beanie Baby. Sorry it doesn’t work with your hundred year-old laws but, you know, people get to make stuff. Go figure out the new laws.
Going to the pain doctor this morning and they’re gonna give me some more of those awesome shots I am very excited about them. I didn’t get them quite far enough up my neck last time and I can literally feel where they stop, so I’m gonna get them further up. One day my pain shots will cover my back one day my blues will cover the earth. Very excited.
Had a night off from Jane. Spent it watching Star Wars cartoons and home improvement videos and packing up hard drives to send back to Backblaze. It was lovely. Nothing like a night of puttering to soothe the soul. Even if, apparently, it screwed up my dreams.
Shoegaze! All new! Well, a few of these bands were on the last one but, you know, another episode in the continuing series of Rick trying to learn about every Shoegaze band in America. Lotta new ones. So much good new shoegaze. Elks Lodge of our time, Shoegaze rehearsal spaces. Man I wish we still had Elks Clubs and shit we were really dumb to let those go.
Until tomorrow!