Turns out I missed this yesterday so thanks for the reminder in today's offering. I'd actually been percolating since Tuesday, though I'm not sure I have great thoughts or words yet and I want to first acknowledge that my experience as a white person parenting a Black and Indigenous person is just not the same as families of color navigating these topics.
That said, even with deeply empathetic kids like Jane (and Sebastian for that matter) talking about systemic racism in age appropriate ways can't ever start too early - and I use my thought process about Jesiahlynn's knowledge base around personal safety to help guide the depth of understanding S has as a protective factor for both kids.
At least some of the EBR out there says that by age 4, basic ideas about race have been internalized and by 12, solidified. I guess my take on this whole conversation is that people of color don't have the option to delay these kinds of conversations, and it's truly a matter of life and death. Thus, we are guided to dismantle our own privilege and not delay those conversations simply because we can. ( in text this sounds judgy, but I promise that if we were sitting over a cup of coffee I don't think that it would. I can't find the right words right now! And I think you're a great dad!)
So, here's what I've got: you've already identified some understanding on Jane's part related to unequal distribution of resources and hatred, she has some burgeoning knowledge of power and using power for wellness vs using power for harm, and finally, she has some recognition that people of all ancestries exist.
To me, you are one small conversation away from the foundational knowledge that in this country (and in many places in the world), sometime people don't have things only because of the color of their skin. Certainly there may be big feels, there may even be uncomfortable 'but why' rabbit trails, and you know...I think you can do this and that it makes a difference around stepping beyond what's in a book vs what is the real-life experience of people around us. ( I hope any of this makes sense and comes across as constructive meanderings of the brain. I appreciate that I had the opportunity to think about it the past couple of days in application to my own life.)
Turns out I missed this yesterday so thanks for the reminder in today's offering. I'd actually been percolating since Tuesday, though I'm not sure I have great thoughts or words yet and I want to first acknowledge that my experience as a white person parenting a Black and Indigenous person is just not the same as families of color navigating these topics.
That said, even with deeply empathetic kids like Jane (and Sebastian for that matter) talking about systemic racism in age appropriate ways can't ever start too early - and I use my thought process about Jesiahlynn's knowledge base around personal safety to help guide the depth of understanding S has as a protective factor for both kids.
At least some of the EBR out there says that by age 4, basic ideas about race have been internalized and by 12, solidified. I guess my take on this whole conversation is that people of color don't have the option to delay these kinds of conversations, and it's truly a matter of life and death. Thus, we are guided to dismantle our own privilege and not delay those conversations simply because we can. ( in text this sounds judgy, but I promise that if we were sitting over a cup of coffee I don't think that it would. I can't find the right words right now! And I think you're a great dad!)
So, here's what I've got: you've already identified some understanding on Jane's part related to unequal distribution of resources and hatred, she has some burgeoning knowledge of power and using power for wellness vs using power for harm, and finally, she has some recognition that people of all ancestries exist.
To me, you are one small conversation away from the foundational knowledge that in this country (and in many places in the world), sometime people don't have things only because of the color of their skin. Certainly there may be big feels, there may even be uncomfortable 'but why' rabbit trails, and you know...I think you can do this and that it makes a difference around stepping beyond what's in a book vs what is the real-life experience of people around us. ( I hope any of this makes sense and comes across as constructive meanderings of the brain. I appreciate that I had the opportunity to think about it the past couple of days in application to my own life.)