Good morning. Hello. How are you? #674
Fantasy fiction about the Dems actually doing something about Trump LOL yeah right, a proposed improvement to Obi Wan Kenobi's last episode. Jane tantrums.
Good morning. Hello. How are you? All well, I trust? Hahahahahaha yeah. I am not functioning super well. A week and a half ago, or so, a very good old friend of mine emailed asking if I could do her a favor and speak on this panel. I didn’t answer her for a week because I kept going back and forth in my head: oh man, I don’t want to do this, but I should totally do it, she is a good friend and I owe her. Normal feelings to have, but I couldn’t, like, actually break that cycle in either direction for an entire week until she gently nudged me in another email and I wrote her a basically psychotic email explaining this closed loop circularity that I could not break. That was cool.
I have a standing bi-weekly monday afternoon meeting with a nother friend whom I have been advising for… a year? Maybe two? And not only did I just completely space it and miss the meeting this Monday, he emailed asking about it and I still haven’t answered. Because I don’t have a particularly good excuse. Existential angst and a slow decrease in functionality. It is awesome. This political environment is awesome.
I am still functional in my job, though. So far, somehow. That is a relief, that would be bad. I am trying to keep it together! But, man, it is a lot.
The Jan 6th committee hearing yesterday was pretty batshit, stories of Trump diving from the back seat of The Beast to grab the wheel and try and choke a Secret Service agent to get the car to go to the capital so he could, you know, stand amidst the rioters like, I dunno, that really bad episode of The Orville last week. I’m sorry. The Orville New Horizons. Important distinction. I’m still pretty stunned about that show’s turn. Anyway. That was crazy, like, someday, if the world ever rights itself, and someone makes a hilarious comedic history of this whole period, I want to see that. I want to see Will Farrell, splayed in orange paint with a prosthetic gut, act out this scene. And I want to live in a world where watching that in a theater is a) hilarious, b) far removed from current reality and c) not a health risk. That is my dream today.
It should go without saying that the part where he said to remove the metal detectors because that guy hiding in a tree with a gun and those dudes roamind DC were “not here to kill me,” was pretty horrible. I mean, sure, there’s the obvious level of “well they’re only here for my political enemies” which was horrible enough, but, like, also, hello, you, person working for me, they might be here to kill you but not me so lol whatever.
Here’s what I think we should do. We could do it right now, insert Joe Manchin and Krysten Sinema caveat here but this does not seem too unreasonable for them (lol yeah right):
Pass a law right now that says Supreme Court justices must recuse themselves when the court is deciding a case involving the president who appointed them. I realize this might be unconstitutional down the road. That’s okay. Hold that thought.
Pass a law that says that Donald Trump has been found guilty of taking part in a rebellion as per the 14th Amendment, article 3 of the constitution. I realize that this is also somewhat constitutionally iffy: the house an senate have the power to find someone guilty primarily through impeachment and not, you know, just passing a law, but there is a wee bit of precedent, and in any case, we’re not really going for iron clad legality here we’re going for the instillation of a logical paradox that will neuter the Supreme Court like those androids in the original Star Trek.
Ideally, the Department of Justice would also, you know, indict Trump on at least a simple, basic “participated in a rebellion” charge that would ultimately trigger Amendment 14 article 3, backed by a jury decision. Do it narrowly, do it in a friendly jurisdiction like DC. Also ideally you’d prosecute him for, you know, all his other crimes, but whatever, this is the important part. Keep him from being president again.
Issue an executive order that persuant to the law passed in step 2 above, and the 14th Amendment, that the Federal government must comply with this law and bar Trump from running for president, which, you know, the states, but also, pretty hard to run when the FEC is on your ass the entire time.
Let the legal challenges come. Watch the Supreme Court somehow try and invalidate the law from step 1, above, first, so they can then have the votes to invalidate the law from step 2, because without invalidating the first law, they won’t be able to do shit about the second law. BUT, of course, you then make a giant heyday about the selfsame three justices not recusing themselves from the trial regarding the law from step 1. I suspect they’d NOT recuse themselves, but the whole thing sure would take a while and my god would it make them look terrible.
I am full of good ideas today.
My other good idea is that Qui Gon should have shown up during the battle on the rock planet, at the darkest moment, maybe during that flashback bit. He doesn’t need to actually show up as a force ghost yet if that is narratively difficult because Obi Wan hasn’t yet overcome his obstacles that allow for that free communication. He could just show up as a memory back to Episode 1 when he is daying and he extracts from Obi Wan a promise to train the boy and — this is the important part — remind us of Qui Gon’s ultimate belief that Anakin is the chosen one and he will bring balance to the force. Of course, that belief was correct up until episode 9 came out then they just shit over it but that’s no matter. It was Qui Gon’s profound belief, and Obi Wan, in walking away from the battle, was thus honoring his master, in addition to saying goodbye to his friend. It also explains why Luke and Leia matter at all since, as Star Wars has spent the last decade telling us cuz they need to lay ground for an expanded universe, there are force-sensitive children everywhere these days, and a freakin bajillion Jedis survived Order 66. So what’s so special about these kids anyway? Well, their father wasn’t just a Jedi, they aren’t just force senstive kids, dime a dozen, he was the chosen one, with the highest mitichlorian count ever (yes I went there) and they are part of the prophecy, to aid the chosen one in bringing ultimate balance to the force. I mean, like, literally everyone else in Star Wars is paert of the plan but whatever. Better than now.
It’s hard to get the timing exactly right, I realize. Qui Gon can’t really show up until Obi Wan has said farewell to Anakin and found his peace, and he didn’t do that until he walked away, but nah, you could just work it into the memory scene like I describe above. Or, even better, have him find his peace and say his farewells in some sort of cool psychadelic, longer flashback journey into the mind while he was under the rocks, Everything Everywhere All At Once style, or, like, Harry’s death scene in Deathly Hallows Part 2 with Dumbledore in the white train station. And of course Anakin wouldn’t have cared that Obi Wan just found peace so there still would have needed to be a final battle, even if Qui Gon had already communicated with Obi Wan. Obi Wan’s fighting would have just been a bit more Neo-at-the-end-of-the-first-Matrixy, a true master of the light side. It coulda been awesome.
Also, please remember that a) Skywalker is apparently a very common surname and b) Anakin doesn’t know he has kids. Putting Luke on Tattoine with that name is like putting a kid named Murphy in Ireland to hide him from a father who doesn’t even know he exists.
Lol even I barely believe that one.
It’s raining out. It’s dark. I need my lettuce today for lunch. I am going to get wet. All my neem oil probably washed off, though I wonder if Japanese Beetles munch in the rain.
You will be happy to know my toothache is on the mend. It is not 100%, but it is much improved. I figure if I write to you about it today, again, it will be good by tomorrow. Also thank you for all your wacky wart-buying stories they really were something. I like it when life throws a little mystery our way to keep the scientists on their toes. Anyone got access to a scientific journal library? Wonder if there are any research papers on wart buying that would be something else.
Jane’s got a new obsession with exactly how I walk into her room in the morning, apparently, I think, I’m supposed to open the door and then not step into the room and then she is supposed to get out of the bed, grab kitty and brown bear, and come to me, at the door, and turn the light on. I’m not actually sure. The routine changed two days ago, unilaterally, two days ago, and so far I’ve messed it up both mornings (because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do) which has resulted in her throwing a fit rather than tell me what is expected of me. And of course, I keep forgetting, I’m gonna forget this morning too, even though I am thinking about it right now, and I take a step into the room before I remember. This leads to a whole morning of her being cranky and hair trigger on her tantrums which is… stressful. I do not enjoy this phase.
Moody and quiet mix today. It is dark and rainy, it is fitting. Lotta new stuff here, couple oldies to fill it out. That’s how it goes these days. We talked about the new Taylor Swift song yesterday it is okay. New Perfume Genius is great and I think this is, like, the third playlist in a week with the new Bartees Strange on it what can I say.
Talk soon!