Good morning. Hello. How are you? #575
A Storm's a coming. Stay safe. A weird tangent about Troma. The Smurfian use of Lowe's.
Good morning. Hello. How are you? Oh my god, I just made like six typos in that sentence. Oh man. And two more. This is going to be a battle today. Work, damn fingers, work! It is just occurring to me after a year or so that Substack doesn’t do that red wavy underlining of misspelled words. Huh. Well, I would like to formally apologize for a year of typos. Also: does “typos” have an e or not?
Bostonians! Holy shit! I hope you guys are ready? This shit looks crazy! One to two feet? That is fucking nuts, I think I only saw that up there in my twenty years… once? The big 1992 snowstorm that eventually ended up flooding Kenmore? Or am I combining two things? Ha actually, I am so wrong. Here’s a list of the top ten biggest snowstorms in Boston, and it looks like I was there for a bunch of them, and none of them were in the early 90’s. Funny thing, memory. Still. I hope everyone gets through okay.
We, here, will be getting an inch or two, for the third time this winter, which is really quite unusual. Usually we get one whole snow storm and that’s it. Also there are still patches here and there from the last snowstorm, and before the last snowstorm, there were still a few patches on the ground from the one before that, so this is all very unprecedented, and I am totally a Piedmont weather expert after seven whole years.
You guys really love Ron Howard, I gotta say. Buncha Ron Howard stans around here. I guess Ron Howard was once a ginger. Can you still be a ginger when you don’t have red hair anymore? When you’re bald? When you’re grey? When you’re both? Is it something with staying power, being a ginger? If Ron Weasley shaved his head is he still a ginger? Or is he temporarily not a ginger until the hair starts growing back? This is reminding me of that cool guy on Seinfeld who was bald and then freaked out when he started thinking he was going bald. Anyway Bryce Dallas Howard now carries the mantle for head Ginger Director in Hollywood. The throne has been usurped by the child. This glorious list of top ten most powerful Redheads by Time (let us be charitable and assume this is by the Pre-Benioff Time) helpfully reminds me that Lucille Ball was a ginger, and in addition to her famed acting and, you know, making Star Trek happen, IMDB tells me she did direct two TV movies, so I guess she held the mantle prior to the Howard dynasty.
Oh shit! Marcelo Claure is leaving Softbank! Yeah, man, you get yours. A cool bil is a totally reasonable salary ask. I am simultaneously joking and not joking because lol a bil but also working for Masayoshi Son has to be one of the worst fucking gigs in the history of mankind. Okay that is hyperbole let us keep our privilege in check here, but… still. Being a lacky who makes a super-rich crazy dude more rich? Really probably not a great job unless you also get to be super-rich. And Claure was already self-made before this marriage of convenience. To all my readers (hundreds, I am sure) who are LPs in SoftBank funds, this is it, this is the bellweather get out while you can.
In other news this morning, it seems that Putin has dropped a few hints saying the last US response had some positive aspects, so mayhaps we can avoid WWIII after all, though I suppose it is too early to get our hopes up, but really, it’s the best play. Take whatever scraps of concession you can get from NATO and the US, get a bit more out of those sucker Germans, and call it a day. There’s no other chess genius move here, it won’t work, your cyber operation isn’t all that when up against an actual functioning defense, and no one in Ukraine is gonna buy your false flag shit, just let it drop already.
I went to Distrokid yesterday and tried to figure out how to remove Rockets Burst From The Streetlamps, who have made about a dollar cumulatively, and Defective Frequency, who have made about $5, from Spotify. You can’t do it. Well, you can, but you gotta email them in order to remove your album from a single service. You can remove your album from all services in their (really pretty nifty) dashboard, but to remove it from one service, you gotta email them, according to this support FAQ. So, you know, I’m all-in on this one-man revolution against Spotify and Joe Rogan, but not sure my $6 in streaming revenue is going to make a dent. Still, Neil, like Batman says, “now we are two.” Except we’re not, because it feels dumb to bug those guys when it won’t make a dent. I’d make a far bigger dent by switching my service away from Spotify, and I think I’m gonna do it. It’ll take a little while, and be a ton of work, but really, what do I have going on in my life right now. I already use Apple Music in the house (combined with Bandcamp and Plex), and it’s been kind of weird using two streaming services at once. Thank you to those readers who alerted me to a) additional Spotify alternatives and b) a better app for syncing playlists between Spotify and Apple Music. I was using one called FreeTheMusic that was all right, but Gavin alerted me to one called SongShift that sounds better.
Of course this will mean that the playlists at the end of these posts are on Apple Music. I’m not sure what to do about that. For the first time ever, I kinda wanna run a poll of GMHHAY readers about this. As they say on the YouTubes, sound off in the comments below. Don’t forget to like and subscribe and click the bell to be reminded every time there’s a new post. Oh wait, that part is not applicable here. Ignore that sentence.
TV report: we finished the other two episodes of Adventure Time Distant Lands that we hadn’t seen yet, and they were both quite enjoyable and up to snuff if you like Adventure Time. I hope they make more. Baby Pep is really cute. Then we started Cheer last night. We haven’t gotten to the trauma yet, but they are wise enough to open the series with a foreshadowing of it, so you know it’s coming. It is every bit as compelling as season one, so far, and the meta aspects of it, documenting the fame and transformation of the program due to Cheer itself is really intense.
Kinda debating what to watch after Cheer. Is Yellowjackets all that? Of is it too grimdark (Katherine we are forever in your debt for this word)? Raised by Wolves season 2 is coming out, but Emma didn’t watch season 1 with me, so I think I’ll be doing that on my own, along with Peacemaker, which I am enjoying for its absurdity. Man, it is good at least one Troma director became A-list. Hrm I guess Cannibal! The Musical was Troma, so Trey and Matt technically started out Troma but for some reason I feel like they don’t count. And this handy IMDB list is telling me that JJ Abrams, Oliver Stone and Eli Roth all worked on Troma films (who knew), but not as directors, so that doesn’t count for this completely made-up thing I am now considering.
Man I think I might need to watch Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD today.
I made it out of the house yesterday for, like, thirty minutes. I took the recyling to the collection center (thank you Emma for flattening all the boxes and collecting the recyling from around the house), dropped off two Amazon returns - those wrong-temperature lightbulbs and the malfunctioning heating pad for my feet. An inquiring reader asked wht brand lightbulbs I am buying, the answer is “garbage Amazon brands.” Asher was the first, Bluex second, BesLow this third round. It is only know occuring to me as I write this that I could probably have gone to WalMart or Lowe’s and done this in person but a) pandemic, b) not like giving my money to WalMart or Lowe’s is any better. For North Carolinian clarity, I refer here to hardware Lowe’s, not grocery Lowe’s, which would have been better to give my money to, but they don’t have E12 LED dimmable warm light bulbs. Also all North Carolinians, or at least those in the Piedmont, posess a Smurfian ability to innately know when another Piedmontian is talking about food Lowe’s or hardware Lowe’s without qualifying, that’s how we sniff out Communist sleeper agents around here.
Anyway, I had forgotten that Thursday was senior day at the Lowe’s, and senior day is the worst because old people are absolutely terrible at wearing masks. I mean, we’re all doing this for them as much as anyone, but they don’t care. I went at an off time so there were only, like, eight seniors in the store, but seven of them were wearing masks incorrectly: six women and one hapless old dude who couldn’t figure out the flour section while on the phone with his wife. Three of them were in a pack, all kibbutzing and cloistering closely, all with their masks off their noses. And here I am triple boosted and double-masked and still worried I’ll get it. Even though I am not worried at all that I’ll get it, because I will probably be fine because I never get sick, but I am a fucking empathetic human being who would prefer not to give it to other people.
Whoops. Sorry. Ranting about this shit is so 2021. Now we just seethe in silence.
Okay, well, I’m out. Jane is at Grammy’s this morning, I have the day off, my time is my own it is all very exciting. I bought these nifty telescopping legs to prop up a spot in my Cubitec where it is sagging because I removed the supports in order to make room for my guitar pedal rig. I did this, like, a year ago? Maybe two? And I am only now getting around to fixing it. It is, coincidentally, in the same corner of the studio as where this troublesome floor lamp is, so if all goes well, by the end of the weekend that corner will have a new lease on life. I will take a nice picture for you.
Oh! And does anyone need an iMac? I have an old 2013 iMac up for sale on eBay. I will give you a nice deal on it. It is slow but in good shape and reliable and I even have the original shipping box. Let me know.
It is kinda weird that after all these years, eBay still doesn’t have a really good share module iFrame thingy.
All right, what is today’s mix, lesseee. W Hotel mix! Yes! Man I miss douchey hotel lobbies, and the people who drink in their bars. My people. My home. I was once a hotel man. Which makes sense since my parents lived in a hotel (well, motel) until I was born. It’s in the blood. I suppose if I ever get super rich I could be one of those people who just live at hotels, that could be fun. Few better ways to blow money if you ask me. This is mostly new stuff, except for Bower Electric, because I finally found a copy of the 12”, and the Now, Now song because it came on random a while ago and I just love that song so much.
Have a lovely weekend! Podcast forthcoming if you are a consumer of the Webb Chatham Report in audio form. Enjoy your Friday, and those of you in the way of this big storm STAY SAFE PLEASE. Fingers crossed.
i will finally listen to your mixes now that they'll be on itunes/apple music/whatever.
i'm very much looking forward to the big snow! really pulling for it to get all the way to the number-one spot.
coveting emma's pink muppet coat!
Best line ever, or at least this year so far: “sorry. Ranting about this is so 2021. Now we just seethe in silence.”
Have a great weekend 🙂