Good morning! Hello there! How are you? Everything going okay? Holding up all right? I hope so. I am doing okay. Not for lack of trying, though. Day 17 of no nicotine. No luck on a PS5. Listening to the new Halsey. It is good. But really the big news is that I majorly injured myself this weekend. Right after dinner, early Friday evening so, you know, exactly the time where I will have to wait the longest conceivable time to hear from my doctor. Thank you to all my friends for the medical advice on Facebook. I have followed most of it best I can.
So. We were on our walk, walking back home from the end of the cul-de-sac, walking up the big hill right before our house. As usual, I was playing “wheee” with Jane. Wheee is a game where I give her stroller big pushes up the hill, like a little kids roller coaster. She loves it. We play it every day. Done it hundreds of times.
Except this time, as I pushed the stroller, somehow my foot got caught on it. Now, this shouldn’t have been too too bad, but what I think happened — neither Emma nor I can really figure out how this whole thing happened — is that as I pushed the stroller with my hands, my foot was caught, and eventually my weight switched to the caught foot, causing the stroller to push harder and faster up the hill, thus stretching my leg to inhuman lengths, causing me to massively stretch my Adductor muscles, tearing and/or ripping them. I collapsed on the ground in massive pain, which was somewhat embarrassing, since I was, like, in the middle of the road, where, you know, cars come. More alarmingly, the stroller was caught on my foot as much as vice versa, so Jane’s stroller fell full-on backwards onto the pavement. She was, thankfully, unhurt. Thank you, stroller.
Anyway, I got myself up, hobbled home — what choice did I have — and that wasn’t too too bad. I mean, it was hugely painful, but I could at least walk. I optimistically said I could do my scheduled Jane bedtime — after all, most of Jane bedtime is just sitting there while she colors. But. Oh my god. As the hour went on the leg got worse and worse. By the end of my Jane bedtime shift — about two and a half hours since the accident — my leg was in absolutely awful condition. It felt like a massive charlie horse, constantly. There whole thing was seizing up. There was absolutely no position in which there was any relief whatsoever. It was horrible. We had a shitty little ace bandage from Emma’s mom but more usefully some topical NSAID, and I used both of those, as well as six Advil and a weed gummy I had lying around. Over night I added into the mix one of my low-level muscle relaxers I got for my neck. All of it combined sort of worked, and by bedtime, at least, I could get a little sleep if I didn’t move. Needless to say, I couldn’t walk.
My Saturday things had improved somewhat for a variety of reasons. A bruise had started forming - about six inches by six inches, deep, scarlet, blood red. Emma took a photo. I’ll spare you. It is disgusting. Thing is much bigger than my hand and no one ever accused me of having tiny hands. On Saturday Emma fashioned me a better compression band out of a fantastic eight-inch piece of heavy duty elastic that she happened to have lying around, sewed it into a cuff, and that thing, I swear to god, saved my life. The ace bandage wasn’t cutting it and was digging into my skin. The thing about this tear is it goes all the way up my leg, right to where it meets my pelvis, so it’s really hard to get compression all the way up to there. And if you don’t, an injured, swollen, part of the injury just busts out of the top of the bandage like a muffin top. Also added Tylenol to the mix thanks to Jon’s advice and pulled back a bit on the Advil cuz I was taking too much.
Sunday evening, the real, professional, compression leg cuff arrived. It’s a little small, but between that and Emma’s cuff I have good compression now from the pelvis to the knee.
I barely moved at all all weekend. Emma woke up both days and did Jane morning with me. That was a whole comical thing, because I wanted to help, and Jane and I are both very particular about our morning routine, but of course Jane manages just fine for breakfast when I’m out of town or she’s at Grammy’s house. I probably should have just let them both do it without me. But I was hungry too.
I also got the plants watered, and got my week’s peppers harvested, and this was not a particularly good idea, I should not have done that Saturday. Sunday was just watering, and I was a bit better, so that was okay. I feel okay watering the plants today — while using my cane.
One nice thing about all of this is that our house is littered with assistive devices and whatnot, because of both my father and mother’s various physical ailments through the years. Which is good because I am disgustingly dirty now and I’m gonna have to finally take a shower today and I don’t think I can stand in the shower. And we had canes, so when I do move, I hobble around on a cane.
Mostly, though, I’ve just been sitting on the couch, watching movies all day. Right now, writing this, is the first time I’ve been sitting in front of the computer in three days and I can already tell it’s not going to work. My wrist is sitting on my swollen thigh, and the vibration of typing is hurting the leg. Plus the chair is pushing into the bottom of the swell and it hurts. Back to the couch for me.
But things are definitely much better now. I feel reasonably confident this is just a tear, and not a rip, though Jon said the discoloration is slightly worrying, and, boy, is there still discoloration. But it just feels like a giant plate-sized bruise mostly now. I can sit and I can stand without too much pain. But I can’t lift it and it hurts to squeeze my legs together.
During that time sitting on the couch, I watched a bunch of movies. That was fun. I watched Annette, Reminiscence, Pig, A Quiet Place parts I and II, Zola, First Reformed and re-watched Ant Man because the whole quantum realm is obviously our gateway to the multiverse and I need to get my head clear about that hahaha. Yeah okay. No, I was just a little exhausted by serious movies by then. If I had to rank them I would say First Reformed came first, then Pig, then Zola, then A Quiet Place then Reminiscence then Annette. I did not like Annette. I recognize it was quite the artistic achievement, but a) I do not need a film about toxic masculinity in 2021, that was a misfire and there’s no getting around it and b) there were a lot of amazing visuals but it didn’t all gel like, say, god help me, La La Land.
First Reformed and Pig, though. Both just fantastic. Masterpieces. Loved them. Can’t believe I waited so long on First Reformed. Josh’s recommendations are never wrong.
Before all of this happened, on Friday, I did manage to get my podcast done. I think it might be the longest episode I’ve ever recorded. I’m sure you’re dying to listen to another hour-plus of me rambling on about various things, but should you be a glutton for punishment, here it is:
So, that’s about all I got. Oh! Good news. My neighbor friend Levi cleaned out his chicken coop and added to my compost a ton of chicken poop plus hemp-based ground cover whatever you call chicken litter, ha. That is great. I need to stir it all in, but of course I can’t. Emma’s done a little bit, so has he. But I am excited. That’s some quality compost material.
Anyway, I guess I will now go figure out how I can do my job not from my desk. It’s been so long. I don’t really have a laptop anymore, I have my phone, I have an iPad. I need to see if the iPad is charged, ha. God.
And if you have any movie recommendations, let me know, otherwise I’ll have to watch the news. Not like a massive groin injury has made me unaware of the hurricane, the impossible situation in Afghanistan.
But we’re still easing back into this and I think that’s about all I have this morning. This chair hurts. Plus I need to go water the plants before it gets oppressively hot outside. It is absurd how hot it’s getting.
Let’s do a mix. Live mix! I think I put “American Dreaming” on a different mix lately, but what can I say, that song’s stuck in my head again, like it is every few years. Solid tune. There’s a second live Dead Can Dance album on Spotify this week, that is pretty exciting. Same tour, though, 2005. Would be amazing to hear a recording that good of the ‘91 tour or something. And yes, I put Kenny G on this mix. Go ahead and hate me, but that tune slaps. Hahaha the Love Theme from St Elmo’s Fire does not, in fact, slap. That is a lie.
All right! Monday! Wooooo! Oh man I gotta get out of this chair. Talk to you guys tomorrow!
yikes, rick—i hope you get to see the doc and manage some danged relief soon!