Good morning! Hello! How are you? Everything okay? I hope so. I’ve been a bit depressed these last 24 hours. Classic midlife crisis shit: I’m old, I’m fat, my promise has been spent, I’m not doing anything interesting with my life, my mojo’s gone, etc. etc. It is supremely unpleasant. And very hard not to look at your entire life through that prism. And everything that happens in the world. And it’s very hard to keep yourself from becoming convinced that the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Sixty percent of the world’s problems come from people convinced that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, I swear to god. It may be true, but it is a toxic viewpoint, societally and personally. Very hard to defend against, though.
I’m very, very sad, though understanding, of Nikole Hannah-Jones’ decision to not come to UNC. I have no attachment to UNC, save through my friends and neighbors (though I was invited to apply for a job there once, in that school, a Knight Chair no less. I met Susan King and she seemed great. I did not, alas, get the job). I am hardly a “local booster,” but it definitely feels like the whole affair has cast a pall on the town as a whole, in addition to the university. It’s also got me thinking a lot about “not my job” and “choose your battles,” and I think for me, personally, I don’t fully believe that things are or aren’t my job. To a large extent, we choose our jobs. And I don’t really believe we get to choose all our own battles. Some battles are thrust upon us. I’m not casting aspersions, I deeply respect Hannah-Jones’ decisions in this situation (to which people would say something along the lines of ‘who are you to have an opinion on this at all,’ and ‘why do you think anyone should care about your opinion,” with which I agree completely, and yet, opinions we have.) It just got me thinking about “duty” and “the cause” and how much of your life you must commit to it, which is a fairly normal humdrum part of my everyday circular thinking, but when you’re feeling kind of down, that kind of thinking hurts. Who are you to think anyone should give more to their cause? What are you giving? Etc. etc. I never come out of that line of thinking unscathed.
In my notes for topics for these posts, I have something from, oh, a week or two ago, when the latest nationally famous incident of sexism took place, though for the life of me I can’t remember what it was now. Not Hannah-Jones, but something else. God, it could be, like, a million things. Anyway, it says “Every accomplishment you’ve ever had is diminished by sexism.” This is true of racism, of course. Even if you think it’s “not your problem” or not something to get involved in, or you just want to live your life, doing your thing, if for no other reason, even at the level of pure selfishness and ego, racism and sexism are your problem: If you thought you were “the best” at something, best case is you’re in the top two, you might not even really be in the top ten. Of course, the small thing to do in this situation is to continue to oppress so that you can maintain your bogus claim. But if you really believed in yourself, you would fight bigotry so that your accomplishments are more honest, more real.
Oh. Right. It was about the latest essay about sexism in the ad industry. That was a solid polemic, much needed.
It doesn’t help that I have this supremely painful zit right at the base of my nose, and my magical zit gel isn’t doing much for it. Right where my CPAP mask goes. It hurts so much. Waaaaah.
I also realized that in some ways re-arranging my office was a tactical mistake. It is absurd how much I was looking forward to that re-org as my next big project, my next big thing, and now it’s done. And it’s worse than that, because it’s not fully done, but it’s as done as I can do without spending money, which I thought was clever and brilliant and gung ho, but now I’m just sitting here thinking “well if spending money is the only way you’re going to feel better about this, then it’s not real, maaaan,” when all I want to do is finish my big project. This is exacerbated by the fact that I realized yesterday that oh, yeah, I do have a thing to look forward to, and it’s a check. Woooo. I mean, checks are great, but they’re not accomplishments, things to look forward too, waaah waaah look at me whining about money. I don’t mean it that way.
And in any case, like most depressions, it’s all kind of BS. I have projects on the horizon — I’m sending off my book to Lisa today that’ll be good. And the Japanese Econ professor got back in touch and we’re picking up and finishing the Japanese translation of the Trek book soon, so that’s a thing to look forward to as well, I’ve never been translated before. That is exciting.
And I painted a fingernail black again. That is exciting. In the dull way of nothingness.
Have you guys heard about this Didi situation? It is nuts! Didi is China’s Uber, and it was set to have one of the largest IPOs ever, the largest Chinese IPO since Alibaba. And they did it. And it all went well. BUT! It turned out that days before the IPO the Chinese government was, like, “hey maybe don’t do this IPO because geopolitical reasons.” But not, like, your spouse says “hey maybe don’t do this” but, like, a mob boss says “hey maybe don’t do this.” The reasons seem to be around being listed on a US exchange means that the US government can regulate you and subpoena you for data and whatnot, and the Chinese do not like that, though who can blame them at this point, whoever started this situation we’re in, we’re definitely in it. But the crazy thing is, they were like “eh, mob boss didn’t explicitly say no so we’re going to do it anyway,” and they did their IPO. And they didn’t tell anyone about the whole thing! So the IPO goes off without a hitch, then word “gets out” that this whole thing went down, and people get all pissed and the stock tanks hard and now there are, like, whispers (well, screams) of fraud on Didi’s part, because they didn’t disclose that all this happened, even though they were in the quiet period, but I don’t really get how all that works and I suspect the quiet period isn’t supposed to apply to, like, company-threatening mob-boss threats. Or something. I don’t think I blame Didi? And isn’t it curious how this all just “gets out” right after the IPO, just like a mob boss would say “won’t someone rid me of this turbulent priest?”
It really is bonkers. This China-America thing is getting completely bonkers. Did you also hear about how Trump pressured the Dutch to put an export ban on “the world’s most complicated machine,” making it so China does not have access to said machine and, thus, to the newest, best microchips? And how Biden kept the ban? And how there’s only one company in the world that can make this machine? And it relies on a complicated Dutch-American-Japanese global supply chain that essentially can’t be replicated? Experts think it would take “A trillion dollars” — with a T — for China to catch up on just this one thing. This is starting to feel unsustainable. But no one’s gonna back down. And I have no coherent opinion on what to do about it. But it’s interesting because the past status quo also felt untenable, didn’t it? China just manufacturing everything, for everyone, and every other country just sort of rolling with it and the ensuing mass unemployment and losing their institutional knowledge and no one really doing anything about it even though no one was really into it at all? That felt untenable too.
I don’t have a solution here, nothing profound to say. Just continually amazed how much things are changing and no one really knows how or why. Maybe this was always the situation. And I guess I thought with the internet I knew what the changes were and I was into it, but then I realized NOPE I did not know the changes, did not foresee the changes, was totally, completely wrong about the changes and now I’m not quite as excited for big changes as I used to be. I am a leftist, I am a progressive, but I am not particularly a revolutionary. That is, I suspect, not a very respectable political viewpoint, but it’s mine nonetheless. I am a muddle-through-ist. I embrace muddle-throughism.
I’m not really sure if I believe that, but I had a note that said “Muddle-throughism” and I really wanted to work it in here. I do believe that muddle-throughism is the better default approach to most things, though. In work, in politics. Those people with their action plans at work. Nah. Just muddle through. Not to say you don’t have a vision, you need a vision. But muddling through towards the vision? I am all about that.
Speaking of which! I also meant to mention that there’s a plot device in the Three Body Problem books that I think about all the time now. I didn’t really realize its brilliance the first time I read them, but the second time it really struck me. That’s the way that people, in those books, get to hibernate. I mean, I’m not talking like the grand uses of hibernation, seeing the future, etc. That’s all well and good, but the part that was really exciting was the use of hibernation in the workplace. Like. You got all your shit done at work? And now you need to wait a year, two years, ten years, a hundred years, until everything you set in motion has come to fruition and you will be needed again? No problem! Hibernate! It’s amazing! God. Imagine if we had that. Imagine all the bullshit work people do at work when they’re really just waiting. A full embrace of hibernation in the workplace would cause a revolution. It would be akin to the industrial revolution. Maybe more profound. All those people into longtermism like the Long Now foundation and the LTSE? Minds blown. Work hibernation. That would rule.
Let’s do a mix! It’s justa mix, but I quite like it. Some new stuff, some newly-discovered old stuff (GOD I hate that you’re not supposed to hyphenate after -ly words, it’s so laaaaame). I think I put that iceage song on a mix not too long ago but it came on shuffle again and it’s so good. And my friend Ryan reminded me about Calla yesterday and I’ve been listening to them all morning and god they’re just fantastic. And I re-discovered this guy Entrance recently. Talked about this a lot on my podcast, but we met him in England back in the day, the week of the Slint ATP in 2005 or so. And he has a relatively recent album. And it’s great. And Doves came on this morning when I was out grocery shopping (oh I forgot to write about that today, but what’s the point, it was exactly the same of every other week) and I love that song so much. Anyway, I’m very fond of this mix. I hope you enjoy it.
I have another note on my topics list that says “get ‘er done!” I have no idea why I wrote that. Maybe I was drunk. But it’s good advice. My friend Tara used to say that all the time. I miss her. I wonder if she still says it. But for our purposes, today, it seems like a good sign-off.
Get ‘er done!
Joan Robinson needs a biopic.
I related to the first paragraph of this newsletter so hard <3