Good morning. Hello. How are you? #429
Day 5 in Alaska. I think. I'm losing count. Nice drives under the midnight sun. Incongruous Mormons. Acadeca bitterness.
Good morning. Hello. How are you? I am okay. Got another 10 or so mosquito bites to add to my collection. There are new cell towers everywhere in this town. It is crazy.
Programming note: When I said there are no Teslas in Alaska, I meant in Fairbanks. My friend in Homer tells me there are lots of Teslas down there. I apologize to Homerites. Homerians. Whatever it is they call themselves. Homerers. And another friend tells me there are some in Anchorage.
Many of you texted to say yesterday’s post was quite moving. Thank you, that is nice. It was real hard to get that out. Writing through a hangover, trying to get to some emotional plane. Not easy. Didn’t think it worked. I’m glad you disagree.
I should also clarify that dad passed fourteen months ago. We are just getting around to having the funeral. COVID and all that shit.
Thank you for your well-wishing about my Tom Vilsack (get it? Vilsack, ball… anyway.) I didn’t tell you guys about this — I’ve gotten more than one crack from friends up here about how I put my “entire life” online, but it’s not true, see, like this story here I am about to tell you that I didn’t tell you when it happened — but like three months ago, I was rolling up my shirtsleeve to get some tan on my shoulders so I don’t have such a farmer’s tan (no luck), and I managed to scratch my shoulder. Like severely. Like I still have a scar from it, even now. My nails are lethal weapons. I’m thinking I somehow maybe scratched a ball in some similarly implausible-impossible maneuver. I mean, I didn't notice that I did this, but you never know. Your body is not your own. It’s got its own thing going on. I’m not saying I’m a ball-scratcher or anything but — okay, this has gone too far. I will stop.
The midnight sun is still magical. It is amazing. It does something to you. Everyone here’s a little crazy in the summer because the midnight sun is otherworldly. There’s lot I don’t miss about Alaska, but I will always love the Midnight Sun. These last few years I’ve been visiting Alaska in the winter — some macho bullshit about making sure I could still handle the cold. I haven’t been up here in the summer since Val’s wedding, which was, like, I don’t know, eight years ago. Or something. I have asked her like four times since I’ve been here, and I keep forgetting. So I probably shouldn’t ask again. What’s the point. But even then, at her wedding, that was down near Anchorage, and… ima gonna say August? So, you know, not full-on, Fairbanks, daylight-at-one-AM midnight sun. It is just the best.
After I finished writing to you yesterday I went and saw my old friend Chandra with Val yesterday. We went to a park. It was a park built by the Lions Club, my dad’s lifelong passion project, so, yay Lions. Chandra and Val brought their kids and the kids played on the slides and teeter totters and such. Surly teenagers would cycle through the park in ten, fifteen minute shifts, and then disappear again. Not sure how they got there or where they went. There was a community garden and, in the Alaska style, every raised container bed was painted a different color. Alaskans love things that don’t match. Weird that someone bought, like, fifteen different cans of paint to paint a community garden, but, then, maybe, being Alaskan, they already had fifteen different cans of paint.
After the park I decided to drive around. I had a few hours to kill until the evening’s gathering of friends, so I drove all of Goldstream road, over to the Steese, then got off at Haglebarger and went to the Haglebarger viewpoint where my high school girlfriend and I used to do some heavy petting. But unfortunately, the Haglebarger viewpoint is grown over with trees and the amazing view of the city is no more. Fairbanks has a bad problem with letting its viewpoints get grown over, alas. There were also four cars there, parked, with people in them, just hanging out. Not the isolated make-out point of 2AM in the winter, alas.
Drove Haglebarger to McGrath to Farmer’s Loop to the University. Damn, McGrath is a nice road. It’s so smooth. Gotta love Fairbanks roads: if you’re on flat land, you’re buckled and broken from the permafrost. But if you’re a winding hill road, no permafrost for you. Just a great drive, McGrath.
But the weird thing was that on Farmer’s Loop, in the middle of basically nowhere, I saw two Mormon dudes walking down the street. White button down shirts, pamphlets, the whole deal. Real weird thing to see in the middle of nowhere in Fairbanks, Alaska. Though I did know a bunch of Mormons growing up. But these guys were clearly on their mission. So, you know, maybe not Alaskans. Even though we have plenty of Alaskans here that could do the mission thing. I never thought about that before: wouldn’t it more efficient if the Mormons just had you do your mission where you already lived?.
And then last night I went to see some friends at the Big I. It was a good group. Frank was there again, and Val, and Carrie and Vern, and to the mix we added Andy and Dustin and Derek and his daughter and Nicky, who I didn’t know in high school even though she, like, lived with Carrie for, like, a year. But it was the year before Carrie and I were hanging out every day. Just missed it I guess. The Big I is exactly the same but it was too loud and had a slightly “yeah you might run into a friend here, but you’re not gonna be sure if that friend wants to kill you” vibe. So we decamped to the Midnite Mine, which is super nice now, and has a lovely back patio and feels like Austin and we ran into Francine which was really nice. I like running into people in Fairbanks.
I really should have taken more photos of humans. But at least I got to see them. It’s such a difference coming here in the summer compared to the winter. People want to go out. And other people are in town. Whenever I came in the winter, no one was here, and the people who were here were holed up in their houses and didn’t want to leave. Aside from the infernal mosquito bites, the summer here is kinda fun.
The other night Robin reminded me of how we got robbed of our academic decathlon state championship. Our memories of the exact bullshit infraction they put on us differ, but are close enough: hers is about Cat being caught in the hotel hallway after curfew. Mine is of us all being in a hotel room (I think the one Cat maybe ran into when they spotted her) listening to Two Live Crew, so it has a bit of a racist element to it. Either way, for this non-offense they stripped us of our state title and wouldn’t let us go to Des Moines for the nationals, and I am still super pissed about it, And Robin was too. The injustice! The hilarious thing is that Robin is a school teacher now, so she actually works with the acadeca kids! She got to go to Nationals in the end after all! Maybe some year I’ll go and just wander the halls of national and complain to anyone who listens. There you go. People keep asking me “what I’m going to do next” and that is my answer now.
Also, the whole thing made me miss Cat I have no idea where she is. She was super cool.
Today I am going to my mom’s. She wants me to clear out my dad’s dresser. That is going to be sad. I took a peek in there the other day and it is basically exactly the same as when I was a kid and I used to go rummaging around in there for coins. Same jewelry box, same smell. It was a bit overwhelming. Then, if all goes well, we’re going to go to the Salmon bake and I might — just maybe — eat salmon for the first time in, like, 30 years. We shall see.
But first I gotta clean up and pack this hotel room, which is essentially akin to packing up an apartment in an hour. Since I’ve gotten here I’ve bought a ton of groceries, toiletries and the like. I don’t know what I’m going to do with them. Leave them here for the housekeepers, probably. I used to be one, here, and I know people left us stuff, but all I remember being excited about is them leaving us booze. And while I am leaving a few cans of Budweiser, I am mostly leaving, like, shampoo and a half a box of pasta. They are not going to be psyched. I feel bad. I will tip well. Tip your housekeepers, ladies and gentlemen.
So I’m in kinda a tight spot here. I’m still in town for, like, twelve more hours? Got a lot to do. But this is my last Alaska edition GMHHAY. But I don’t want to, like, you know, do a wrap up on a thing I’m not done with. But by the time I talk to you next, it’ll be Monday, I’ll have seen my wife and baby and our friend Abby is staying with us and I’ll have been reunited with my sweet, half-eaten garden and Alaska will be a thing of the past. Tough to say what’s going to happen.
But right now, it’s time to get this day moving. Thank you, Sophie’s Station, for your stalwart service and bad movies. I enjoyed Monster Hunters, Forrest Gump, The Girlfriend Experience and Scary Movie 4. Your shower is hot and strong. Your kitchen could maybe use a colander.
Okay it’s time for a mix. Some stuff I’ve been listening to driving around this town. Mix of old and new. That Pinback song sounded real good driving down Goldstream. That’s one thing I’ve really loved about being back — all the driving around under that magical midnight sun listening to music. It’s been a real treat, I will miss it.
Have a lovely weekend, everybody. We will return to our regularly scheduled, domestic comedy next week. And in-line bold highlights for skimmability. Stay safe!