Good morning. Hello! How are you? Doing okay? It’s a Friday, are you excited about that? I am. Doubly so since it’s one of Timehop’s ongoing mental health Fridays, and we have it off. Throughout the pandemic we were doing both one mental health Friday for the whole company to have off, plus a couple ad hoc days for every employee to have off. But what we found is that most employees needed the forced offed-ness of the entire company being off, so that no one bugged them. They seem to be far more popular than the ad hoc days.
Note from the future: Forgive me, we’re doing a single topic today. I didn’t know we were going to do a single topic when I started writing, but that’s how it turned out. You might want to consider skipping this one.
So Biden decided we didn’t need masks anymore. I say Biden did this because, sure, the CDC “issued new guidance” on the topic. But it was the White House that decided to coordinate with this new guidance like it was a marketing campaign, making pretty, digestible, not-entirely-true social media graphics, and rolling it all out at the same time as the guidance.
Like… WTF is up with this? Where to even start?
First, okay, sure, the CDC has new guidance. Let’s pretend, for a moment, that they are actually independent these days (though, obviously, LOL). Then the White House would have heard about this the same time as the rest of us, not had pretty social media graphics ready to go. Which probably would have been good because then we all would have time to digest it together? But with the White House’s amplification, and simplification (you can’t stop wearing masks everywhere, says the CDC, but the White House seems to not care about that), pretty much right away, everywhere people are going to be showing this stupid tweet to unsuspecting, front line, service workers who have gotten zero new guidance from their bosses. Because their bosses had zero warning. And their bosses now have to wade into a thicket of misery, probably with their lawyers, sorting out whether there are any potential liability issues with changing their rules, and balancing that against which potential new set of rules at their particular company is better for business. And hey, do it in 24 hours or so because people are starting to yell at your employees.
And sure, maybe these businesses could have seen it coming, and had a plan, but you know what they probably didn’t plan for? Having it dropped in their lap with zero guidance and zero support from our supposedly competent president, other than a throwaway line in the guidance that says “but you still have to follow the rules of any business you enter,” which has been effectively negated by the White House’s simplifying and entirely unnecessary marketing campaign.
Heaven forbid the CDC say “hey new guidance is coming, effective next Friday” or some shit. Give businesses time to figure out wtf they’re going to do. All for something that has zero medical benefit. Has zero economic benefit. Was there someone out there who was not able to participate in the economy that is now? No. Is the inverse true? That there are people who were able to participate in the economy yesterday that won’t be today? You fucking bet.
Let us take a few things as a given here: first, people are going to lie. Obviously people are going to lie. Because it will be completely easy to lie, there are zero repurcussions to lying. There is zero way to prove someone’s lying. Yes, sure, maybe your business could ask to see a vaccination card, but without the White House and CDC using their heft to encourage such actions, your business is going to be left out there blowing in the wind, trying to encourage this yourself. And even if everyone means well in this situation, you’ll be such a rare bird people won’t be in the habit of bringing their vax cards around with them. Tech cos aren’t going to bother making vax pass apps.
In thinking about it, if I were an anti-vaxer, I would 100% just forge a card. From their point of view, it’s a rule and a social pressure that I have zero respect for. Why would I bother telling it the truth? It is a lying facade of an institution.
Let’s take some other medical cause and use it as an illustration. Imagine if you lived in one of the states where marijuana is still illegal. Imagine if there were dispensaries everywhere. And imagine that the only legal enforcement of the anti-marijuana laws in your state was a piece of paper. You could walk in and buy from the dispensaries, but so long as you have a piece of paper that says “I’m drug free!” you’re good to go, you didn’t violate the laws. And you could make that piece of paper at home with the tools you have laying around the house. Or if you couldn’t, come on over because I could do it for you. And there is zero chance you’d get caught, because it’s not like the piece of paper is a dollar bill with some anti-fraud technologies or anything. It’s basically just a Xerox copy with some handwriting.
Are you telling me no one would cheat in that system?
It’s worth noting that this illustration isn’t even a fair one, because in this example, it’s actually illegal to consume Mary Jane in that state. There are even fewer laws at play here.
So, yes, of course people are going to lie.
And in any case, it’s not like anyone’s going to actually bother asking for vax cards.
I mean, of course. We should have seen this coming. It is obvious that the US was never going to make a Vax Pass system. Not just because of the libertarianism in all of us but for the simple reason that it was never going to matter to most people. It won’t matter to you if you’re vaccinated, unless you have a kid. And in a few more weeks it won’t matter to you if you’re vaccinated and have a kid, if that kid is over twelve. In hindsight it’s obvious: It was never going to matter to anyone except our most vulnerable: our sick, our immunocompromised and our very young children. Why would the US bother with them?
Let us take a daycare clinic.
Yesterday, the employees at a day care clinic could get their kids sick. To mitigate this, they required all of the employees to wear masks. They could require or ask their employees to get vaccinated, but, in absence of CDC or White House guidelines on this topic, the vast majority of businesses in the US are not requiring their employees to get vaccinated. They’re hoping they do. The masks are the insurance. The masks are the safety net in case the employees aren’t vaccinated. And you know what? Most employers still don’t know if their employees are vaccinated! And, of course, it’s easy AF to lie about it.
So what’s the system today? Let’s assume the day care wants to do the right thing. They want to be safe, and are following all government guidelines. The obvious right thing is to keep their masks on, because they guidance says we can still make our own rules. And maybe some of them will do that, but the parents won’t, and they can’t make the parents anymore. Sure, they can ask but the parents will just show the president’s tweet and… what are you supposed to say to that?
Also, as an aside, it’s 8 AM the next day, and I guaran-fucking-tee you that some poor front-line nurse at some hospital, somewhere, is having this argument right now because the White House made that tweet and her bosses haven’t had time to decide what to do.
Then, of course, it’s fucking hard to ask a bunch of your employees, who are vaccinated, who are at zero risk of any illness here (well, near-zero but we won’t even go into that), who might well not have kids themselves, to keep their masks on. This job is getting shittier and shittier in this hot labor market. Keep the masks, one group of parents yells at me. Lose it, another does. I don’t need this I’m going to go work somewhere else.
Fine, the day care says. I need employees, I need to stay open, no masks it is. SO. Now we have a group of childcare workers, all maskless, taking care of our four year-olds, with absolutely zero verification if they are vaccinated or not, which one hundred percent means that day cares are now manifestly less safe, my kid could get COVID and this is not good. It is really a thing, and it is bad. I have a friend who BOTH of his kids got COVID. They are NOT WELL. And we have no idea about the lingering effects.
“But the CDC says businesses can make their own rules!”
Yeah, sure, but without any governmental support whatsoever, they are fucked.
In short, the whole system is left to the capitalist wolves, and that always goes super well.
How did any of this make us safer?
So what did we gain here?
As far as I can tell, the White House’s tweet was entirely political. It was not helpful at all. It just made Biden feel good that he could say something that he, you know, could have just said Monday, instead, giving schools, businesses and hospitals more than, like, ten minutes to decide whether and how to revise their policies and re-train their front-line workers. This was done for political points, nothing else.
Political points for the White House anyway, but for the party? Nah. Not so much. Give governors time to figure out what they’re going to do. So now my Democratic governor in a battleground state had basically no notice and has to completely rewrite the regulations for the entire state – probably today – before the Republicans start yelling and screaming about how he’s “ignoring CDC guidance” and “imposing on people’s freedoms.” Like, Jesus, Joe. Give me a minute, those poor governors are thinking. Whatever, not Joe’s problem.
I mean, look. Yes. Sure. It’ll be fun to go out of the house with no mask. I think. I mean, at this point I’ve just given up the government ever talking about parents of small children, and telling us explicitly whether we can infect our children if we’re vaccinated. I guess we’re just supposed to assume “no” and move on. Heaven forbid the government tell me. And yes, I know, the smart ones of you are sitting there now, tsk tsk-ing me because I haven’t “done my own research” (how very Q) and read all those 5,000 word Zeynep articles and the research papers. But you know what? That’s not the point: first, even if *I* have, most people haven’t, because it’s a shit-ton of work and we want the Cliff’s notes, and secondly, because the weight of a government recommendation is more than just the science behind it. It is defense in litigation, it is the normalization of behaviors, it is ammunition backing unpopular decisions.
But none of that is happening with kids. I think the unspoken implication of all of this is that Jane still needs to stay home indefinitely. I could leave the house, but she shouldn’t. And any place I thought might be safe for her, got less safe today. Maybe I’m wrong in this interpretation, but the CDC sure isn’t gonna let me know that: After all, the word “child” does not appear on the new CDC guidance page a single time.
If you are immunocompromised, the world just got profoundly less safe. There was not one word about you in the guidance either.
They really just threw in one line: “except where required by federal, state, local, tribal, or territorial laws, rules, and regulations, including local business and workplace guidance.”
That’s the hand-waving. That’s the laissez faire capitalist “this is not our problem, private business can sort it out.”
But the 50 million or so parent-free adults who now get to do things mask free are fucking psyched. And yeah, it’s pretty awesome I will get to see a movie soon. I assume. But this rollout was garbage.
Okay, well, sorry. I had a whole bunch of fun topics to write about. Additional musings about handoffs at MSNBC, Civilization, Tarzan Legend of Greystoke and other exciting topics. But not today. Let’s do a mix. Covers! Spandau Ballet from the 21st century. An amazing cover by Shellyan Orphan (RIP) that I had completely forgotten about. A new Cohen cover from the First Aid Kid live album of Cohen covers. A weird new Paul Anka Olivia Newton-John cover? I don’t know if that’s actually new or what. It showed up on my Release Radar. It is… weird? But worth listening to once.
Okay! Enjoy your weekend? Ha. That sounds so trite after this GMHHAY entry. But I mean it! Put it out of your mind for the weekend! Let’s go do some gardening!
My doctor's office called today and said "When you come in, you still have to wear a mask no matter what." So there's that.
I thought the whole point of the strategic aspect of this move was to *tempt* the vaccine-hesitant people to go ahead and do it. (Doesn't explain the suddenness though... apparently Willensky was on CNN the night before saying she couldn't say anything).
On another aspect you bring up though, she was on NPR yesterday afternoon and said that there have now been studies that show (definitively????) that vaccinated people can't spread it.
What do you have to say about Tarzan Legend of Greystoke?