Good morning. Hello. How are you? #1135
Morning obstacles. Just cleve the iOS business off of Apple and save us all. 90's Boston band reunion magic. Crain and Palgrave please gimme my book back
Good morning. Hope you’re well. I’m stressed AF. Gah. Rough morning. I knew today was going to be busy, but I did not count on Jane. She went to bed early, again. That was great. She woke up so happy. Unfortunately, she had seen a friggin Bluey episode last night involving some freeze game, so she decided she could shout “Freeze!” and I would have to freeze. So I did. It was super cute for a while until she started leaving me on increasingly long freezes.
We got through that and then we were at breakfast and, still endeavoring to be a great Bluey-level father, but foreseeing difficulties, I asked her what she does when someone tries to play the freeze game and she doesn’t like it.
“I just ignore it,” she said.
Somehow I knew that were I to try that, when she was drunk on Freeze power, it would not go that well.
So, as we got increasingly late for school due to multiple freezes, I very kindly said “I think I would like to stop playing the freeze game now. We can play more this evening during bedtime.”
Even as I knew I was being the greatest dad in my handling of this delicate situation, I knew a meltdown was imminent.
And it was, except it wasn’t a tantrum, it was massive existential despair. She got sad, and she got sad that she was sad, and she was sad that she was no longer happy, and all will to do anything drained out of her in a puddle on that kitchen floor even as we had to get to school.
So we got through that, and then on the way to school the mother f—-in county decided to just put up a “ROAD CLOSED” sign on the only road to the school. They did not specify where the road was closed, whether it was closed before or after the school. There was an unhelpful detour sign pointing further away from the school.
In denial, I just drove past the sign, eventually catching up with a bunch more cars in denial, eventually hitting five more road closed signs, that we all weaved through, because what kind of sociopath would cut off a main route to four schools with no advance warning and no additional information.
And in the end, the road wasn’t closed at all, and we got to the school just fine. Will it be the same tomorrow? Who knows! Of course the answer is I should brave the 1990’s-era web design that is every local government in America, but no one’s got time for that.
Also in the middle of this episode I screamed something like “gaaaah!” in the car, and Jane did not like that at all. So when we got to the school, she did not want to get out of the car. I was back in great-dad mode after my momentary lapse, and I suggested we go park. She said yes, because we were late we did not get time to park the car in line and talk and she needed to talk about her feelings. But when we got to the problem-solving parking space she did not want to talk about her feelings. But then she was like “okay I’m ready. Walk me into school.” And I did and it was fine.
The end.
Then I picked up Emma from the car shop and we went to the recycling center and the evil grocery store where they put a sign on the deli saying they don’t open until 9, and then usually help you anyway, but one in ten times or so, everyone behind the deli just studiously ignores you and thinks its fine to ignore you because there’s a sign saying they don’t open till 9, and they’re right, but also, come on man, you always help people before nine, also who opens a deli three hours late, and misses the entire morning rush, even though like six people are already working back there.
Raaaaaaage.
My Apple Vision Pro custom lenses came yesterday. They come in a crappy cardboard box. It has a QR code on it that apparently you look at with the device and it does some adjusting to make the prescription work. That sounds pretty cool. But Apple can’t decide if this whole thing is like a kid having a custom controller for his neighbor’s PS5, or something you buy, stick in your own AVP and never move again. I am very surprised they don’t come with a carrying case. And I doubt the aftermarket is going to bother, because it feels like that two months later, the entire world has already forgotten about the Apple Vision Pro.
Speaking of Apple, they are so butthurt about the European Digital Markets Act, they are now sending out cryptic emails to all Apple Developers saying “hey the EU wants to know if you’re a trader or not so go put the answer to that in your Apple Dev account.” And you’re like “what’s a trader?” And Apple’s like “not our problem.” And they offer zero help about the whole thing. Just surly and useless and pissy not unlike a kid upset their dad doesn’t want to play the Freeze game anymore.
Also, assuming we are a trader, you have to put a phone number in there, which will be… publicly available on the App store? This is, I assume, not Apple’s fault but the EU’s but seriously, fuck that. Who has a phone number anymore? What phone number am I even supposed to put up there?
I wish the government would come down from on high and cleve Apple’s entire iOS business off of the rest of the company. The stub apple would be a better company for it, and I could kiss off the iOS company because the only reason I use iPhone is a bunch of lock-in bullshit, features they only let iOS use if you have a Mac and vice versa and it sucks and I hate it and I want a keyboard on my fucking phone jesus H christ it has been twenty years and you still can’t get a thing you could get anywhere before some license-plate avoiding sociopath decided the world needed to look like his bedroom.
While I’m cranky I would like to complain about Crain and Palgrave Macmillan who will not answer my emails, and will not provide me any accounting of Agency sales. And now this University Professor tells me that the book is out of print? C’mon man, just give me my book back so I can make a second edition and I can do an audio book of it.
Grr I am so annoyed.
In good news, there is a show in Boston coming up late this summer with some of my favorite old Boston bands: The Ghost of Tony Gold, Goliath, Honeyglazed and the Falsies. I cannot believe it. And it’s at the Middle East upstairs, which is bonkers. Will it sell out? Can you even get advance tickets for the Middle East upstairs anymore? It’s all so insane I cannot fathom seeing all those bands again.
Insanity.
Oh and the aforementioned Chinese psych rock band and composers of the theme to the Chinese version of 3Body are playing King’s Theater in Brooklyn next week. I am jealous, I would love to go.
Oh shit they’re playing Boston April 10th. Wow.
Maybe we have to stay longer.
Here is the Media of the Day. It is a cover of “Sally Free and Easy” by the Boston psych rock legends Magic Hour. God I miss them so much. There was a time you could just go to TT The Bears and see Wayne and Kate and Damon and Naomi freak the fuck out and it ruled.
Also yesterday I learned that this song was originally written by some dude named Cyril Tawney, ex UK navy dude, and it was not a folk tune as I originally thought.
Okay hopefully tomorrow will be better. Bye.